Tag: Advice and Tips

What I’ve learned from my first long term relationship: having a sexy partner is important

 

Finding your partner sexy is really important. It’s also more of a personality trait than something physical. I think we downplay sexiness too much when it comes to serious relationships, but if your partner isn’t sexy to you at all, your sex life will suffer. I physically thought my partner was attractive, but he dressed terrible and wasn’t confident. This completely turned me off. It was to the point where I didn’t want to kiss him and we could barely even have sex because I was turned off.

Then my next boyfriend, who I only dated for a few months, was sexy as hell. We were very exclusive, he was only into me, he didn’t play women, but he was confident and knew what he was doing and that people found him attractive. He said he loved my confidence as well. He also had bacne and some loose skin from losing weight, I don’t want you to think you need to be perfect to be sexy.

While there is a physical component, it is mostly personality. Like if Jared Leto had the mentality that no one liked him and he was awkward and put me up on a pedestal, I wouldn’t be into it. I’m not into cockiness either, but you should both be confident.

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Intimate Sex: An Illustrated Guide

How to get him in the mood

If your partner is male, most of the ideas we’ve discussed so far will work a treat for getting him in the mood!

Things like:

  • Giving him a sensual massage
  • Preparing a little taste test
  • Feeding him some of his favorite food

But where do you go from there?

Once he’s nice and relaxed, simply talking with him can work wonders.

Show your vulnerability by broaching the topics of your sexual likes and dislikes, ask him to share his and see whether the conversation goes.

If sex is on the cards, oral sex is an incredibly intimate way of showing him how much you care.

If you’re looking for specific ideas, we suggest a kneeling blowjob position known as ‘The Boss Chair’.

The Boss Chair

 

Here’s what to do:

  • Have your guy sit on a sofa or recliner and gently encourage him to undress, the slower the better. Stare into his eyes as you help him unbuckle his belt and slide off clothing, before gently spreading his legs.
  • Taking a small cushion or pillow, kneel between his legs and start stroking his inner thighs. To send him into overdrive, reach up and fondle his nipples while simultaneously kissing his testicles.
  • Gently hold his shaft in your hands and start stroking up and down. The actual mechanics of giving a blowjob will depend on his preferences – ask him whether he likes it deep and fast, or gently and slowly.
  • For extra stimulation, you can swirl your tongue around the head of his penis while fondling his testicles. To heighten the sense of intimacy, try to maintain eye contact throughout. He’ll not only find this incredibly erotic, but it helps maintain communication too. Blowjobs are far more intimate if you make sure he knows he is the sole focus on your attention and affection.

If you’d prefer, you can try a standing variation of this position, known simply as ‘The Elevator’.

 

How to get her in the mood

If your partner is female, helping her build her arousal levels is a breeze when you follow the advice in this guide.

She’ll love things such as:

  • Thoughtfully preparing a delicious meal or taste test
  • Feeding her some new or exciting food
  • Giving her a sensual massage
  • Showing your vulnerability and interest by discussing your likes, dislikes, and fantasies and listening to hers

So where do you take things from there?

A frank, open discussion about sexual preferences is a natural prelude to sex.

After kissing, you can move to fondle and suggest giving her oral sex.

Going down on your woman is an especially intimate way of expressing your love and desire for her.

If she’s open to it, we suggest a tender position known as ‘The One Up’.

The One Up

 

Here’s what to do:

  • Have your woman sit on a sofa or on the edge of a bed and gently encourage her to undress slowly and sensually. Take a small cushion or pillow and kneel on the floor while staring into her eyes as you tenderly help her slide off her clothing.
  • Gently lift up one of her legs and encourage her to loop her hands under her thigh. Start by stroking and caressing her erogenous zones such as her inner thigh before kissing and nibbling up towards her clitoris.
  • This position causes her hips to tilt and puts her clitoris in the perfect position for cunnilingus. To make it all the more intimate, focus on looking up at her as you start kissing, stroking and licking her clitoris. As you go down on her, she’ll be able to help add some movement and guide you to the perfect spot.
  • To make this position truly intimate, make sure she knows that she’s the center of your attention. Communicate throughout by asking her what she likes or dislikes and perhaps by asking her to show you. For example, some women are especially sensitive down one side of their clitoris, so she may prefer to swap legs and guide your mouth and tongue into the perfect position.

The One Up is one of the most intimate oral sex positions as it encourages face-to-face communication and lets you maintain eye contact.

Try placing a small cushion or pillow under her head, she’ll be able to gaze down on you as you pleasure her.

Top 3 intimate sex positions to try out

While oral sex may lead to one, or both partners, achieving orgasm, most couples will use it as foreplay that leads to penetrative sex. Here is a step-by-step guide to the top three sex positions that maximize levels of intimacy.

The C.A.T.

 

The acronym C.A.T. stands for ‘Coital Alignment Technique’ and is one of the most intimate sex positions ever.

The C.A.T offers the face-to-face contact that most women crave, plus it all but guarantees strong clitoral stimulation.

According to the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, over 70 percent of women can orgasm with this technique!

As a variation of the standard missionary position, the C.A.T. is fairly easy to perform and has a great success rate. Here’s how to do it:

  • She lies on the bed, and he lays on top to assume the standard missionary position. But instead of being chest-to-chest, he puts his chest further up and over her left or right shoulder.
  • She bends one of her legs at a 45-degree angle. This will push the base of his shaft into direct contact with her clitoris.
  • As he thrusts in and out, she can rock back and forth for greater stimulation.

The Horny Mantis

 

 

The Horny Mantis, also known as ‘Gift Wrapped,’ is one of the most intimate, relaxing sexual positions that you need to know!

With her arms and legs wrapped around her lover’s body, this position encourages feelings of tenderness and lovingness that is sure to help foster intimacy.

Here’s how it’s done.

  • Both partners lie on their sides and face each other.
  • She lifts one of her legs and he slides between her legs and enters her.
  • She wraps her legs around his waist and her arms around his upper back.
  • He thrusts and rocks until one or both partners climax.

This extremely relaxing and intimate position offers very deep penetration while letting her adjust the depth of her partner’s thrusts using her legs.

The Cowgirl

 

The Cowgirl, or ‘Woman on top’ position, is great for intimacy as it’s simple to do and easy to get right. It gives her face-to-face contact for a deepened sense of intimacy.

Oh, and did we mention it’s awesome for both G-spot and clitoral stimulation?

Here’s how to master the Cowgirl position like a pro:

  • He lies down on the bed and she straddles his body to maneuver into position.
  • After he enters her, she has almost complete control over the depth and speed of the thrusts.
  • As an alternative to up and down thrusting, rocking backward and forwards works just as well. A rocking motion produces great stimulation as her clitoris and vulva rub against his pubic bone.
  • She can even remain static while he thrusts up into her.

Crazy ways to supercharge every sex session

Mind-blowing sex is a great opportunity to build intimacy with your partner. And what better way to do this than by supercharging your sex session?

According to a recent Australian study, only around a third of women can orgasm through regular sex.

So here are three ways that will send your lovemaking off the chart.

These techniques will help both partners achieve mind-numbingly great orgasms time and time again, supercharging their intimacy levels.

1. Tease her ilioinguinal nerve

At the top of your woman’s inner thigh, you’ll find her ilioinguinal nerve, and this is one of the most powerful nerves in her entire body.

The ilioinguinal nerve responds best to light kisses so you’ll want to slowly and gently kiss your way upwards from her inner knee to towards the top of her inner thigh.

One of the best positions to do this is called the ‘Lazy Girl,’ also known as ‘Heir to the Throne.’

While this doesn’t provide the same face-to-face opportunity as the One Up position we described earlier, it’s perfect if you want to see her writhe in ecstasy!

Here’s how to do it:

  • She sits on a chair and you gently encourage her to part her legs.
  • Taking a small cushion or pillow, you kneel on the floor between her legs.
  • You start with, you’ll want to begin with a gentle foot massage and then start showering her calves with little kisses and gentle nibbles.
  • As you reach her knee, begin stroking, licking and sucking her inner thigh area to stimulate her ilioinguinal nerve.
  • When you reach her vulva, start stimulating her vagina and clitoris with your mouth and tongue using light circular motions.
  • Try to ask her what feels good and let her know that she’s the center of your universe.

 

The Lazy Girl is perfect for intimacy as she’ll be able to see you between her legs.

You can try this position on any seat, sofa or bed and it works great on a swivel chair too!

2. Try the Lying Mantis for a shared experience

The act of simultaneously giving and receiving pleasure helps create the perfect conditions for intimacy to flourish.

The Lying Mantis, also known as the Sideways Sixty-Nine position, is simply the standard ‘Sixty Nine’  position which you can try on BRITISH SEX FINDER with you both laying on one side.

Here’s how it’s done:

  • She lies on the bed while he lies down with his head towards his lover’s vagina.
  • She parts her legs as he goes down on her.
  • He moves his hips until he’s in the perfect position for a blow job.

 

This position is more relaxing than the ‘Sixty Nine’ position and leaves both partners with one free hand with which to stroke and stimulate the other person’s body.

3. Try the Legs Up to maximize pleasure

The ‘Legs Up’ position, also known as the ‘Fusion,’ ‘Getting a Leg Up,’ or the ‘Leg Up,’ is one of the best overall positions for both partners to achieve maximum pleasure.

And, when pleasure levels rise, intimacy is bound to follow.

Here’s the lowdown on mastering the Legs Up:

  • Sit on the bed facing each other with your legs forward.
  • Put your arms back to support your weight and then move your hips closer together.
  • He spreads his legs and she maneuvers on top, putting her hips between his spread legs.
  • As she moves onto his shaft, she can lift her legs onto his shoulders and start rocking back and forth.

The Legs Ups is unbeatable for intimacy as you’re pleasuring each other in a facing position.

You can communicate about what feels good, what you like and what you don’t like.

This face-to-face position not only generates maximum pleasure with a simple motion, but it’s great for intimacy and eye-contact, helping foster a stronger bond.

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